I’m recording this Sermon with two hopes:
1) To bring life to single women everywhere who can relate to what I’m about to share and maybe even need to hear some or all of it.
2) As a tool for connection and understanding that single women can share with each other and loved ones to say something like, "Hey, this describes how I feel in so many ways, I’d love for you to listen to it and if you want we can even discuss it."
These are a few ways we can create the world we want to live in: to find opportunities to see each other in deeper, truer ways, and question our programming, expectations and needs to be right about how things should be.
Enjoy and share, share, share!
Kimberly Ann Johnson is back today. She's the author of The Fourth Trimester: A Postpartum Guide to Healing Your Body, Balancing Your Emotions, and Restoring Your Vitality. She joined us earlier this year and talked about pregnancy, birth, postpartum recovery and sex. Today we spent our time on motherhood, mothering, and identity. I'll warn you - Kimberly and I are both really curious and really comfortable talking about uncomfortable things and we went for it in this conversation.
We explored discovering the mother you are, how to be with your timeline and your kid's timeline, relationships among mothers, being a single parent, self care vs community care, expectations on mothers and expectations held by mothers, and the differences and similarities between birthing a book and birthing a human. We also go into some trauma theory, unshaming responses, and what happened when her #metoo video went viral on Facebook.
About Kimberly Ann Johnson:
Kimberly Ann Johnson is a Somatic Experiencing trauma resolution practitioner, Certified Sexological Bodyworker, doula, postpartum care advocate and single mom. She works at the intersection of birth, sex, and trauma, specializing in birth injuries, birth trauma, and sexual healing. She leads women through a bottom up She is the author of the upcoming book The Fourth Trimester: A New Mother’s Guide to Healing Your Body, Balancing Your Emotions, and Restoring Your Vitality to be published by Shambhala Press this Fall. She leads small groups of women on intimate dives to get the sexual education they never got and claim full sexual expression.
In this episode, Kimberly shares:
1. Mother - Daughter wisdom
2. How perfectionism shows up in family relationships
3. Asking "what works" instead of clinging to ideals
I’m calling this Sermon “Real, Kind Progress” because I want to take two mindsets that are pervasive and detrimental in our culture and offer you an alternative. Those two mindsets are the all or nothing mentality and perfectionism.
In her book Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life, Anne Lamott speaks about perfectionism:
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it.”
? Anne Lamott
So today we're going to unpack these mindsets and explore kinder, gentler and still very effective ways to move and be moved towards progress.
Today's interview is a long time coming, our guest is Tara Mohr and she is all about Playing Big, which of course, we love! During our chat we got into being of service, the ego vs the soul, how we play small and how we can play big instead, and we spent some extra time on playing big in motherhood specifically. We talked about the difference between fear an intuition, a question I get a lot, and we wrapped up with creative expression and how to be discerning with our words so we don't "kill things."
About Tara Mohr :
Tara Mohr is an expert on women’s leadership and well-being. She helps women play bigger in sharing their voices and bringing forward their ideas in work and in life. Tara is the author of Playing Big: Practical Wisdom for Women Who Want to Speak Up, Create, and Lead, named a best book of the year by Apple’s iBooks and now in paperback. In the book, she shares her pioneering model for making the journey from playing small–being held back by fear and self-doubt–to playing big, taking bold action to pursue what you see as your callings. Tara is the creator of the Playing Big leadership program for women, which now has more than 1,500 graduates from around the world, and creator of the global Playing Big Facilitators Training for coaches, therapists, leadership development professionals and other practitioners supporting women in their personal and professional growth. A Coaches Training Institute-certified coach with an MBA from Stanford University and an undergraduate degree in English literature from Yale, Tara takes a unique approach that blends inner work and practical skills training. Her work has been featured on national media from the New York Times to Today Show to Harvard Business Review, and has captivated women from all walks of life.
In this episode, Tara shares:
1. The surprising biggest challenge of playing big within motherhood
2. How coming from service can be a game changer
3. The effects of giving words to things
Since 2010 the month of December has been a month of big decisions and massive change and transition for me. I don’t know if it has to do with where Gemini and Sagittarius fall in my astrological chart, the momentum of an impending New Year or what. Now that I practice more surrender and trust in life, am way more accepting of what is, have very little need to control or manipulate anything, and have cultivated deeper patience than I ever thought I was capable, instead of ripping through my life like a hurricane, these decisions, changes and transitions are like a sacred unfolding, orchestrated by the divine, working with and through me.
This year December has been all about two things.
Emotional Freedom and coming out of hiding. It's these two things that had me ruminating on the relationship between harm and healing - so that's what today's Sunday Sermon is all about.
Enjoy and share!
Andrea Owen returned to the show today and she has a new book out called How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t: 14 Habits that Are Holding You Back from Happiness. What I love about Andrea is that she is so good at focusing on the basics that people really need to master before they move onto more “advanced teachings” – because guess what? The advanced stuff doesn’t matter if you don’t have the basics down!! So we talked about how to fast track your self-awareness because it has to come before knowledge to be effective. We got into numbing and isolation – something so many of us can relate to, specifically how to spot the ways that seem normal, go under the radar, and how we do it so much because modern living is very conducive to both. We covered doing friendship as an adult, especially a growth-oriented adult, real, deep listening, shame, triggers, and feelings. So many juicy things, enjoy, share, and let me know what you think!
About Andrea Owen:
Andrea Owen is an author, mentor, and certified life coach who helps high-achieving women let go of perfectionism, control, and isolation and choosing courage and confidence instead. She has helped thousands of women manage their inner-critic to create loving connections and live their most kick-ass life.
She is the proud author of 52 Ways to Live a Kick-Ass Life: BS Free Wisdom to Ignite Your Inner Badass and Live the Life You Deserve, (Adams Media/Simon & Schuster). Her second book: How To Stop Feeling Like Shit: 14 Habits That Are Holding You Back From Happiness is due out in January 2, 2018 (Seal Press/Hachette Books).
When she’s not juggling her full coaching practice or hosting retreats, Andrea is busy competing in triathlons, chasing her 10-year-old son and 8-year-old daughter or making out with her husband, Jason. She is also a retired roller derby player having skated under the name “Veronica Vain”.
In this episode, Andrea shares:
1. “Unwanted identity”
2. Small gestures of kindness and presence
3. What to do when you don’t know what you need
This Sunday's Sermon is a case for starting before you're ready. In the episode I speak most specifically about creative projects, using my first book as an example. Truly, this can apply to anything though. Something I say a lot is that we're never ready - which also means that we're always ready. Readiness is something I believe people put a little too much weight on. If there is a spark, a desire, something you know you must do, be, create, taste, experience, or even just try (sorry Yoda, I believe in trying, deal with it!)...I say go for it. We just never know what's on the other side of giving things a shot.
Enjoy the episode and let me know what one thing is that you've been not doing that you just might move forward on after listening!!
Since our first interview back in February 2016, today's guest has become one of my closest friends. What I love about Rachael Maddox is that her intelligence, rigor, and commitment to trauma resolution work runs as deep and wide as her passion, power, and capacity to hold space for it. She is one of the people I trust most in the world with the intimate details of my own healing, and a person who I learn from constantly.
In this interview we talk about what it feels like to be on the other side of trauma in sex, and that YES, it is totally possible to heal from sexual trauma. We talk a lot about needs, connecting to your needs, asking for them, and honoring yourself and others around getting them met. We explored anger not being bad, safe love and intimate belonging, and what needs to be reclaimed to get to a place of healthy and safe sex after trauma.
As always when trauma is involved in the conversation, please take care of yourself, pause the interview at any point if you need to and come back when you're ready. If it resonates for you, listen more than once, and if you need anything, you can contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org
About Rachael Maddox:
Rachael Maddox is a trauma resolution educator, coach and guide who’s helped hundreds of women and men resolve their sexual trauma and reclaim their pleasure, power and wholeness.
In her first book, SECRET BAD GIRL, Rachael tells the story of her return to wildness, sensuality, health and embodied safety after a decade living under the trauma spell.
Her next book, SEX AFTER TRAUMA, publishes fall 2018, and is written to help people navigate life between the sheets after they’ve been through the worst of it.
On a fierce mission to help as many women as possible who’ve experienced trauma, Rachael offers one-on-one support, groups, articles and courses for women who are ready to dance hard with life.
If you’re new to Rachael or the territory of trauma resolution, check out this free 8-part video series, Becoming a Grown Goddess, that covers Trauma 101, Boundaries & Belonging, Sex After Trauma, and more!
Rachael’s professional training includes Alchemical Alignment Trauma Resolution & Embodiment of Spirit, The Coaches Training Institute and The Awakened Leadership Academy.
In this episode, Rachael shares:
1. Social MVPs
2. Living your way into the answers
3. The relationship between longing, yearning, and desire
Today’s sermon is inspired by Brene Brown’s most recent book, Braving the Wilderness. There’s a whole chapter called Speak Truth to Bullshit. Be Civil. Last week we got into the speak truth to bullshit part, if you haven’t listened to that episode, I do recommend pausing this one and listening to that first. It’s episode #212 and you can find it at untameyourself.com/episode-212 or whatever player you listen to podcasts on.
If you’re all caught up and ready to dive into being civil, like last week, I’ll read a good bit from the book, and chime in with my own reflections and experiences. And you’ll be able to tell I’m really geeking out on this because courageous communication is one of my favorite topics. I have seen so much healing and transformation happen in my life when people learn how to speak to each other, say what they mean, be brave about it and not cause harm with their words. Enjoy this episode and share with anyone you know who would appreciate it, too! xo