Today's episode goes deep into unhealthy relationship patterns, abuse and victimhood. What I loved about our guest Avery Neal, is her whip smart, compassionate and gentle demeanor while navigating an intense topic.
Her truth was about the resilience of the human spirit. From there we explored:
-Big hard words - abuse and victim - and why it's important to use them, unpack them and own them when applicable
-Striking a balance between sussing out your partner's issues and your own issues
-Behavioral patterns of abusers and how to spot the warning signs
-Behavioral patterns of "victims" or those susceptible to abusive partnerships
-Lots of examples from her practice and more gems from her book.
I know every time I do an episode like this, unfortunately it resonates with A LOT of people. Be gentle with yourself if it hits the mark for you and as always, do not hesitate to contact us or reach out if you need help. Since I spoke out about my own abusive relationship last year, I've received so many messages from others sharing their stories. This topic is a really close one to my heart.
About Avery Neal:
Avery Neal, MA, LPC is a practicing psychotherapist, author, speaker and consultant. In 2012 she opened Women’s Therapy Clinic, which has locations in both The Woodlands, Texas and in Denver, Colorado. She specializes in depression and anxiety at all stages in a woman’s life. She has worked extensively with women suffering from prenatal anxiety and postpartum depression in addition to helping women recovering from divorce and healing from emotional abuse. She is passionate about empowering women discover their own inner strength, leading to higher self-esteem, confidence and overall life satisfaction.
Avery is the author of If He’s So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad?: Recognizing and Overcoming Subtle Abuse. Her articles and interviews have been published by Oprah.com, Best Self Magazine, Hitched Magazine, Bustle, POPSUGAR and PKWY Magazine. In 2017, the International Association of HealthCare Professionals nominated her as one of the top psychologists in Houston.
I got to chat with today's guest, Amber Rae right on the heels of her new book coming out. We explored a ton of things related to life and creativity. Her big truth was around the truths she doesn't want to look at. She asked the question, "Do you tell your journal the truth?" Which sparked a playful and deep conversation around our willingness to look at our shadows, anxieties and worries.
From there we talked about:
-How wonder is curiosity in action
-Being slightly more curious than afraid
-How wonder helps with negative emotions
-The difference between fear and intuition
-Developing characters to relate to yourself objectively
-Identifying our "creative aches" and more...
Whether you live a creative life or not, there are so many gems in this discussion about navigating the things that keep us from our fullest love, expression and joy everyday. Enjoy and share!
About Amber Rae:
Called a “Millennial Motivator” by Fortune and "The Brené Brown of Wonder” by Mind Body Green, Amber Rae is an author, artist, and speaker whose work invites you to live your truth, befriend your emotions, and express your gifts.
Her writing blends raw, personal storytelling with actionable aha! moments and has reached more than 5 million people in 195 countries. Her public art has spread to more than 20 countries, and she's spoken to and collaborated with brands like Kate Spade, Apple, Amazon, and Unilever.
Amber has been featured in The New York Times, TIME, Fast Company, BBC, ABC World News, Tim Ferriss's blog, and more.
Previously, Amber helped launch six best-selling books as Chief Evangelist of Seth Godin's publishing experiment and started an "accelerator for your life" called The Bold Academy.
She lives in Brooklyn and around the world with her fiancé, Farhad.
Today’s guest, Clarissa Silva developed a technique, Your Happiness Hypothesis (c), based on her research and practice that provides evidence-based solutions to address some of the suboptimal relationship challenges that are occurring in today’s tech-driven dating world.
Her truth was that relationships have become much more complicated these days. Here’s what we covered:
-The dating paradox, how there is so much choice with online dating, swiping, stoping on shining objects and more.
-She walked me through some of the modern dating terms of which I was unaware.
-How technology intersects with self-esteem and relationship satisfaction (this was fascinating!) and how people create double consciousness!
-We got into vanity validation, device dependency and what people want vs what people need.
-Why she doesn’t believe in self-love and why she believes we should create our own equations and algorithms that deconstruct “the ideal partner list.”
If you’re someone who’s out in the world dating, this will be really useful for you and if you are just curious what it’s like out there – you’ll learn a ton in this episode. Enjoy!
About Clarissa Silva:
Clarissa Silva is a Behavioral Scientist, Researcher, and Relationship Coach with 17 years of experience in mental health, behavioral science, and public health. She is the founder of C Silva Solutions, LLC, a research and consulting firm that provides evidence-based solutions to companies and individuals.
Clarissa developed a technique, Your Happiness Hypothesis (c), based on her research and practice that provides evidence-based solutions to address some of the suboptimal relationship challenges that are occurring in today’s tech-driven dating world.
She is the author of a very tongue-in-cheek relationship wellness blog, “YOU’RE JUST A DUMBASS”, to help people select and maintain healthy relationships and avoid some of the difficult life lessons that one encounters in suboptimal relationships. Her work focuses on research and data-driven techniques that she developed to help clients with creating relationship wellness in their lives.
Clarissa holds an MSW from the University of Michigan and a BA from Hunter College. She has been featured in the US on: FOX, NBC, HuffPostLive, ABC, CBS, PR Newswire, Google, Vice. Broadly, Stylecaster, Bustle, Elite Daily, Business Insider, Glamour, NY Post, Yahoo!, Moneyish (among the many) and Internationally on: Yahoo Japan, Tabi Labo Japan, Cosmopolitan Italy, Cosmopolitan Netherlands, Vice Germany, Vice Spain, Vice Columbia, MSN Spain, Cosmopolitan UK and ???? ????? (Macedonia).
Today's guest, Amy Ahlers is a two-time author and a total spitfire. Our conversation was super charged and we explored a lot of things that are up in our culture, our lives and the climate of the coaching industry right now.
Her truth was around celebrating the truths and paradoxes of life and embracing both the magical and the messy. That might sound a bit "airy fairy" but it wasn't even close to that.
During this conversation we got into:
-White fragility and privilege and the problem with "colorblindness"
-HOW we've been unpacking these things in our own lives and businesses
-Her core work around the "inner mean girl" and when that shows up
-Big fat lies women tell themselves
-The antidote to self-bullying
-Being a mom to girls and how to navigate obectification
-How your social media behavior reflects your values
Have a listen (probably more than once), share and enjoy this one!
About Amy Ahlers:
Amy Ahlers, the Wake-Up Call Coach, is a bestselling author, keynote speaker and master life coach with nearly two decades of experience. She's the author of two bestselling books, Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves (New World Library, 2011) and Reform Your Inner Mean Girl: 7 Steps to Stop Bullying Yourself & Start Loving Yourself (Beyond Words/Atria/Simon & Schuster, 2015). Amy is on a mission to stop ambitious women from being so darn hard on themselves so they can rise, shine and lead.
After a successful sales-executive career, Amy became a Certified Life Coach over 17 years ago. She is host of the celebrated Amy Ahlers Show podcast, creator of transformational programs such as Inner Mean Girl Reform School with Christine Arylo, Find Your Calling with Martha Beck and Lissa Rankin, Magical Manifestation Method with SARK and Dr. John Waddell & Lift-Off Business Academy
Amy's been featured on stages at places like Google, Wisdom 2.0 and Oracle, has appeared on countless TV and radio shows and leads retreats for women around the world so they cultivate the courage to follow their Inner Wisdom.
Amy is also passionate about empowering high-achieving women, moms, and rising visionaries to build their business, marketing and leadership skills so they can own their brilliance. Amy's own journey from a small one on one coaching practice to best-seller author and multi-six-figure business owner, has inspired hundreds of thousands of people around the world. Amy loves authentically sharing what she’s learned from her triumphs and mistakes so that you can accelerate your own heart-centered business and scale to reach more people than you ever thought possible.
Amy’s “no-holds-barred” truth telling approach and irresistible sense of humor will give you confidence that you, too, can experience the fulfillment of reaching your highest potential.
Most mornings you’ll find Amy doing a dance party with her husband and two daughters with a pile of dirty dishes in the sink. She resides in the San Francisco Bay Area with her family and rescue mutt, Batman.
This was one of those interviews that I didn't want to end. I enjoyed today's guest Luna Love so much. Her big truth was around the body and mind being colonized.
-The European standard of beauty.
-Righteousness, entitlement and hierarchy.
-The internal conflict that comes with being mixed race.
-Decentering the prioritization of ourselves and our work, businesses, missions, etc.
-And we also got into grief, desire, leadership and power.
It's a really deep, really rich conversation. Enjoy and share!
About Luna Love:
Luna is a Woman of Devotion, a Transformational Leadership Mentor and host of the Ladies Who Lead Podcast. She assists women ready to share their gifts in the world to achieve clear vision and aligned action, by providing supportive, life-promoting experiences, practical tools and spiritual wisdom. Luna is devoted to social justice advocacy through council work and the dissolution of separation amongst people and environments.
I love today's guest, Nada Lena. She's a powerful and dynamic woman whose experiences brought a ton of value and insights to the conversation.
Her Big Truth was around accepting and embracing all the feelings, positive or negative.
We talked about:
-Victimhood vs victim mindset - something that people get really twisted around in an unhealthy way on their growth journeys.
-How our past always prepares us for our future
-Tony Robbins' controversial response to a woman asking him about the #metoo movement
-Empowerment, preparation, discernment and values in leadership...and much more.
Enjoy this conversation and share it up!
About Nada Lena:
Nada Lena is an entrepreneur, confidence coach for women, podcaster, educator, and motivational speaker! She is the Founder and CEO of “Rise Up For You,” a media production and event company dedicated to empowering, connecting, and educating women as well as NLN Productions, a company that prepares singers and performers for the stage.
Nada’s mission is to help others globally maximize their inner strength and self-love so they can live their best life. Through her expertise, Nada helps others unleash their full potential so they can truly embrace and manifest the life they deserve.
Nada is an incredibly accomplished woman — among other things, as a singer, she has toured the world, has a Masters degree in Educational Leadership, had already coached/mentored 50,000 people worldwide on confidence and self-worth through the unique tool of the performing arts! In 2004 she began traveling the world empowering people in countries such as Russia, Japan, Gibraltar, Spain, and more. In 2011 Nada Lena became a top executive for a corporation in Southern California where she mentored and coached men and women professionally in leadership and education.
Nada has been featured on a number of media outlets such as Women Who Reign, the podcast Your Working Life, The Bold Life Movement, The Conscious Hustler, Write Now, OC Talk Radio, and more!
She is currently on the Women’s Impact Council at the Costa Mesa Center Club as well as the Newport Beach Chamber Women’s group “INSPIRE.” In addition, she is a board member for the non-profit organization Hope Seekers and supports the non-profit organizations Girls Inc. of OC as well as Nawaya.
Today's guest, Geneen Roth, is the author of TEN books, so she's prolific. Aside from what she's created, she's a really brilliant thinker, teacher, and I would even call her - healer. Her big truth was this, "Most of our mental anguish is caused by the stories we tell ourselves about a situation, not by the situation itself."
We explored that along with:
-How to navigate our mental stories and land in the present moment.
-The paradox of choices and how that impacts decision making.
-Using your body for guidance to prevent anxiety.
-Using your eyes to REALLY see
-What being "appropriate" means in our times
-How age affects our concept of beauty
-And she shared a few excerpts from her most recent book that were super beautiful.
This was a fiery conversation - enjoy and share!
About Geneen Roth:
Geneen Roth is the author of ten books, including the New York Times bestsellers When Food Is Love, Lost and Found, and Women Food and God, as well as The Craggy Hole in My Heart and the Cat Who Fixed It. She has been teaching groundbreaking workshops and retreats for over thirty years and has appeared on numerous national shows, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, 20/20, the Today show, Good Morning America, and The View. She lives in California with charms of hummingbirds; her husband Matt; and Izzy the fabulous, eating-disordered dog. For more information about her work, please visit GeneenRoth.com.
Today's guest Shanti Das is a music industry vet and the founder of the Hip Hop Professional Foundation. The mission there is to empower and enrich the lives of those in underserved communities around mental health, youth empowerment and poverty.
Shanti's big truth was around owning her truth. We talked about:
-Knowing when to walk away and when you don't actually "have to" deal with things.
-Her opinion on the topic of appropriating hip hop culture.
-Her transition from a high powered executive to servant leader.
-The distinction between mental health, and mental wellness and brain health - I loved this!
-Digital social responsibility
-AND she didn't mind me losing my shit over her close relationship with the members of one of my favorite groups of all time - TLC as well as some other hip hop and R&B legends who will always have my heart.
This is both a fun and important episode - enjoy and share!
About Shanti Das:
Shanti Das is an accomplished entertainment executive, consultant, entrepreneur, mentor, author, and Philanthropist.
Shanti is the Founder/CEO of Press Reset Entertainment, an Atlanta-based firm launched in 2009 that serves as an entertainment concierge service providing independent marketing & strategy for music acts, talent booking for private & corporate events, celebrity procurement, brand influencer marketing and special event assistance. This years marks Shanti’s 25-year anniversary in the entertainment business. Her music industry career (intern to Executive Vice President) includes positions at Capitol Records, LaFace Records, Columbia Records, Sony Urban Music and Universal Motown where she worked directly with some of music’s top talent like Outkast, Usher, Prince, TLC, Toni Braxton, Erykah Badu, and more.
An advocate for many social issues, she has started several successful initiatives and events including No Reservations Needed (an annual food drive/dinner for the Atlanta Mission homeless shelter in Atlanta), Samples That Serve (collection of toiletries for homeless mothers and children to benefit the annual United Way Shoebox Party), Backpack Blessings (collection of back to school supplies for local elementary schools with Walmart), Day of Pampering (Hair, Make-up pampering for moms at the Genesis Shelter), Toys of Joy (Holiday Toy drive benefitting local hospital) Turn The Page (book drive and reading program for local elementary and middle schools).
As a result of Shanti’s community work for the past 8 years, she decided to establish her very own nonprofit, The Hip-Hop Professional Foundation. The mission of the foundation is: To empower and enrich the lives of those in underserved communities around youth empowerment, mental health and poverty.
The mental health initiative is called Silence the Shame. Shanti has suffered from depression over the years and has also experienced love ones affected with mental health disorders. With Silence the Shame, she hopes to peel back the layers of shame and stigma as it relates to mental health. There are millions of people suffering and they are afraid to speak on it. It is also a lot that needs to happen in the form of educating people about treatment, support and care.
Shanti hopes to spark a national conversation that will lead to increased awareness and funding to support those living with mental health conditions. She is enlisting the help of some of her celebrity friends and colleagues to jump-start the conversation.
Today's episode is both exciting and esoteric. Chetan Parkyn is with us. He's the author of Human Design: Discover The Person You Were Born To Be. Human Design is a system that helps you engage with your life in present tense. It helps you understand how you're best built to make decisions, how you should use your energy, and ultimately, how to get the most out of life.
Chetan is a world renowned expert on the system. He's read for thousands of people over the last few decades and published three books about it. He was generous enough to break it all down for us in this episode. I'd love to know what your type, profile and authority are after you listen. Find me on Instagram and let me know!
About Chetan Parkyn:
Chetan Parkyn has been giving Readings to people of all walks of life and all nationalities for over 35 years. He has spent the past 23 years mastering Human Design. He is more than a leading practitioner of the system. As the author of the first major book on the subject, which has been translated into eleven different language versions, he has made it his mission to bring Human Design to the whole world.
An entrepreneur’s son by upbringing and an engineer by training, Chetan has fully explored both the mystical and the technological worlds. He’s been a deep-sea dive engineer and a devoted student of meditation. Travels in India and time spent in the company of the enlightened mystic, Osho, finally opened Chetan to his own purpose — helping people develop self-knowledge.
I'm pretty sure this was my favorite conversation on the show in the last three years. Not just because it primarily focuses on sex, but because our guest Marcia Baczynski is really brilliant at what she does, and we addressed things that most people simply don't talk about or receive education on.
Marcia's big truth was that she can change her mind. From there we explored:
-What Cuddle Parties are (she's the co-founder),
-Navigating boundaries, consent, preferences and assumptions in sex.
-Gender, heterosexual and non-heterosexual dynamics in love and sex.
-Power dynamics! Which is something I've been really wanting to explore on the show - and why people may or may not feel obligated to say yes to things they are really not ok with sexually.
-And she also introduced some great concepts like desire smuggling and the difference between consent and permission.
This is one to listen to more than once, share with friends, and use as a conversation piece with loved ones. Enjoy!
About Marcia Baczynski:
Marcia is an internationally-recognized speaker, writer, coach and expert on sexual communication, relationships and women’s empowerment. Her primary mission is to help women and the people who love them to overcome shame and get in touch with what they truly want — romantically, sexually and relationally — even if it’s off the beaten path.
As co-founder of Cuddle Party, Marcia has helped tens of thousands of people to speak up for the kind of touch they want, say No unapologetically, and foster more connected, affectionate relationships. Her popular virtual course, “The Good Girl Recovery Program,” helps women to break out of the roles that keep them small and unsatisfied, and move into being more of who they are in all areas of their lives. In the Make Hot Play Happen weekend intensive, she co-teaches with renowned educator Midori, and helps people more fun, lower stakes, hotter sex, more creativity and better connection in bed.
Marcia brings wisdom, humor, and creativity to all aspects of her work, and offers a fresh perspective on love, sex and relationships. Each year, she works with a select group of private clients. Since 2003, she has helped tens of thousands of people through her private coaching, workshops and group programs.
Marcia is a sought-after presenter and coach, and she has made over 100 magazines, newspapers, TV shows, books and radio appearances, including The Rolling Stone, The Montel Williams Show, Fox News, NPR, the Washington Post, the New York Post, the San Francisco Chronicle, GQ, Marie Claire, People, Newsweek, The Daily Mail, and Penn & Teller’s Bullsh*t, to name just a few. She has been interviewed for, and cited in, a number of books as well.
When she’s not scheming ways to make the world a better place through improving intimate relationships, Marcia enjoys finding creative ways to use her frequent-flier miles, reading historical marker signs, dressing up, planning adventures, going sailing, hanging out at the beach, spending time with her family and being the best auntie she can to the kids in her life. She lives in the Bay Area.
I was really excited when today's guest, Kavitha Chinnaiyan reached out about sharing her new book with me, Shakti Rising. As many of you know I love studying archetypes and have a deep appreciation for stories and mythology about goddesses. As well, her big truth kicked off our chat with a bit of mystery, which I also always love.
Her truth was:
There is much more to life than what we see.
From there we explored:
-How we're all far more than our limited identities.
-How yoga and spirituality stemmed from being men's practices and few spiritual paths are tailored for women, with those that are traditionally, being quite hidden.
-We talked about her intentions for writing the book - to clarify conversations around the "Divine Feminine" and what The Goddess is. I loved this line she said, "There is nothing in existence that isn't her..."
-We got into making your life your practice and navigating spiritual materialism and elitism along the way.
-And she also shared some of the differences between her spiritual beliefs and her husbands and how they instill beliefs, practices and rituals with their kids despite any differences.
I loved this chat and hope you do too!
About Kavitha Chinnaiyan:
Kavitha Chinnaiyan, MD, is an integrative cardiologist, meditation teacher and tantrika. She became drawn to the Direct Path through the teachings of Greg Goode and Sri Atmananda Krishna Menon, and has studied yoga, Sri Vidya Sadhana, Vedanta and Tantra through the teachings of Chinmaya Mission, Sri Premananda, Sally Kempton, and Paul Muller-Ortega. She blends her expertise in cardiology with her knowledge of Ayurveda, yoga, Vedanta, Tantra, and the Direct Path in her approach to healing, enabling patients to discover bliss amid chronic illness. She is an Associate Professor of Medicine at Oakland University William Beaumont School of Medicine in Rochester, MI. Find her workshops, upcoming talks, past interviews and online programs, including the Bliss Meditation Course on kavithamd.com.
Today's guest Nagham Wehbe is a research analyst, an artist and a human rights advocate. The truth that's having the biggest impact on her life right now? Being present.
In the interview we talked about the play she wrote and produced --Confessions of an Arab Woman which was adapted from Joumana Haddad's book, I Killed Scheherazade: Confessions of an Angry Arab Woman. It was the first play she ever wrote, let alone produced and it was a wild success. We talked about the trust that went into a project like that, as well as the support, collaboration, and balancing such a huge undertaking with a full time job. We also geeked out on how her passion for theater and background in science intersect and what happened for the people who participated in the play. I love love loved hearing about Nagham's stories and experiences. Enjoy and share!
About Nagham Wehbe:
Nagham is an artist and human rights advocate. Her recent production was the hit play Confessions of an Arab Woman adapted from the award winning memoir of Joumana Haddad.
She is in training to become a certified Emotional intelligence and leadership life coach and finishing her Communication Management Masters Degree at USC.
She teaches folk dance and cultural theater, hosts network events and workshops, and is the director of the Arab Film Festivals in L.A..
She is a big believer in collaborations and action as a way of making a difference wether it is organizing an event or putting on a play.
Kathleen Shannon's big truth in today's episode is, "We're all connected," and we explored it through a number of delicious threads:
-Branding and being who you are
She also let me grill her about the time when she created a website and did branding for Brené Brown...this is a fun one, enjoy!
About Kathleen Shannon:
Kathleen Shannon is a creative director, podcaster, speaker, author, and mentor. As the co-founder of Braid Creative and co-host of the Being Boss podcast she has helped thousands of creative entrepreneurs from all over the world authentically brand and position themselves as creative experts, cultivate confidence in their business, and blend more of who they are into the work they do. When she’s not working she’s traveling the world, cooking a great meal, or cuddling on the couch with her husband and their 3 year old son, Fox.
Life has been dishing up lots of clear signs to me lately that there are places where I need to take a step back and highly reevaluate things before moving forward. It's an invitation into higher refinement of what we do around here and I'm happy to oblige. That said this will be the last Sunday Sermon for a while. Have a listen for a bit more detail into what's been going on, why I'm listening, and what's brewing for the future.
When you hear the truth today's guest dropped, I think many of you will get goosebumps just like I did, "I am no longer willing to be coerced." I have known Karen Christensen for many years now, and every time we connect, I feel like I've been missing out during all the time that's passed since the last time.
This woman is so wise, creative, thoughtful, perceptive and caring. We expanded on her truth and talked about:
-The discipline of having a practice
-How she catches and changes her own triggers
-The difference between standards and expectations
-Why her and her husband, who are both professional photographers don't take many photos when they travel
-Skills versus creative process
-How excellence is different from perfection
-and so much more.
I want to listen to this one three more times myself - I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
About Karen Christensen:
Leading transformational talks, mentorship mastermind programs, planning
retreats and the Dreamcatchers District Podcast — for ambitious, creative, entrepreneurial women — Karen Christensen has earned press and praise on and off camera as an actress, photographer, filmmaker, and speaker; with work seen on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday, The Ellen Show, Good Morning America, Showtime and more.
A Certified Energy Leadership Master Practitioner and Mentor Business Coach, Karen now specializes in Creative Direction, Peak Performance, and Mindfulness to help you remember who you are, what you want, and why you started.
Speaking has taken Karen from SXSW in Austin, TX to the International Ocean’s Film Festival in Germany, with invite-only events throughout Los Angeles.
This was a super fun episode for me - you'll have to let me know how you like it - nothing planned or scripted. Just riffed on evolving into running two separate companies now, using my voice, dating as a social experiment, practicing deep compassion and acceptance for all kinds of humans, exploring different types of diversity and asking a lot of "Why" around contribution, creation, content, and social media.
Life is so awesome, tragic, weird and miraculous.
Enjoy the riff!
Today's guest Monisha Chandanani is a dear friend whose BIG TRUTH really touched me personally and I hope it does the same for you, "Humility is the way."
-The value in practice
-Being alone versus lonely
-How the "goggles" you wear influence what you see
-Mindful awareness and how you can't transform what you don't see
-Consciousness and how creation works
-and much more...
We also got real about how judgment and projection show up in our own lives, which as a fellow human being, I'm sure you'll be able to relate to. Enjoy!
About Monisha Chandanani:
Monisha Chandanani is Intuitive Leadership Coach and the founder of See.Love.Choose., a system for conscious creation. She is known for her genuinely loving disposition combined with her piercingly honest and direct approach.
Over the past seven years, Monisha has worked with thousands of clients on 6 continents and over 25 countries. Through private coaching and group workshops, she assists her clients and their teams to achieve more by doing less. Affectionately called a “corporate analyst for the soul,” Monisha is especially skilled in coaching her clients in creating a life filled with purpose, power, play and positive global impact.
Monisha enjoys working with conscious social entrepreneurs and executives that are building businesses for good. Intimately connecting with this population allows Monisha to contribute to her big picture commitment- world peace through inner peace. She believes we are powerful as individuals and unstoppable when harnessing our collective energy towards a common vision. Monisha has the honor and privilege of working with extraordinary leaders from Twitter, Google, Airbnb, Qualcomm and Facebook along with game-changing entrepreneurs.
In today's solo episode you'll hear me geeking out to the highest degree on one of my favorite topics - TRUST. More specifically, self trust. You'll also get a little peek into how my brain and creative process works as I walk you through the brand new Trust Assessment I just released.
We’re so conditioned into black or white thinking, we often label ourselves “good” or “bad” at a thing, without looking at the fullness of it.
So for example, if you were to ask in general, how much someone trusts, they’re usually going to associate it with trusting other people.
And if you redirect them to self trust specifically - most people’s mind is going to think of how much they don’t trust themselves.
What I’ve noticed over the years after working with SO MANY people around trust, is that most people trust themselves at least a little bit - but it’s categorical. It’s in one or two areas of life.
In the other areas where they don’t, they beat themselves up about it so much, it practically or completely negates where they do trust themselves. The truth is most of us are an interesting mix of trusting and not trusting, in different areas of our lives, to varying degrees. The Trust Assessment helps to identify and quantify where in your life you're trusting or not, and of course, what you can do about it.
Have a listen to the show and take the assessment at http://thetrustassessment.com - it's free!
In this sermon I'm sharing a passage from Tara Brach's book, Radical Acceptance. I did a random flip through asking to land on a message that would have great value for us. The passage I landed on was in a section called, WHEN ADDICTIVE WANTING TAKES OVER OUR LIFE. I particularly loved a story about an "enlightened monk," who wasn't so enlightened after all.
Whether you struggle or suffer with any kind of addiction, you may get something out of this sermon. I'm sharing two messages with you and leaving it up to you for how to interpret it or find resonance. Enjoy!
Mel Wells is with us today and I loved her BIG TRUTH, "We all learn best by watching what others do rather than by listening to what they say."
We took this truth and talked about:
-How people can use social media for a range of things from judgment to self-love
-How diet culture shatters people's ability to see their greatness
-Her take on the body positivity movement
-Hunger, cravings, and how food decisions can reflect your relationship to your life
She also let me ask her a ton of questions about her former life as a soap opera actress in the UK and what it was like when she came here to the US and started auditioning. It was fascinating, enjoy!
About Mel Wells:
Mel Wells is a Certified Health Coach, Eating Psychology Coach, International Speaker and the Bestselling Author of widely acclaimed, ‘The Goddess Revolution’.
She is Hay House’s youngest author and has been featured in Forbes Under 30, Women’s Health, Cosmopolitan, BBC Radio 1 and more, as a leading women’s expert in her field.
Mel dedicates her time to helping women worldwide ditch the dieting for good, make peace with food and love their healthy bodies. Mel coaches women via her famous online Academy, and luxury Goddess Retreats in Bali and Thailand.
Mel empowers women to stop dieting for good, and challenge their entire belief system around food and their bodies, by working on the relationship they have with themselves.
Mel lives in Bali, and flies back to London regularly for speaking events and retreats.
Today's Sunday Sermon is all about listening and the myriad ways better listening touches our lives.
Listening to yourself
Listening to life
Listening relating to trust
Relating to surrender
Because we don’t know what to trust if we’re not listening
We don’t know what to surrender if we’re not listening
Listening is a function of paying attention
Paying attention and listening require that we slow down
That we pause here and there
That we cultivate the ability to create space between our thoughts…
And in the space between our thoughts, that is where miracles are born :)
I'm pleased to introduce our first ever musician to the show today - Trevor Hall. Trevor's BIG TRUTH was threefold, "Not trying to figure it all out, being comfortable with the unknown and surrendering into that space."
We talked about:
-His most recent album release which was both innovative and unconventional
-His path as a professional musician (This was fascinating to me! He signed a record deal at 18, and produced two albums in four years that never saw the light of day. I didn't even know that was possible...)
-The meaning of his latest album title, "The Fruitful Darkness"
-Some of his favorite artists and tours
-How music breaks down walls and barriers
We also kept it real and geeked out on our favorite TV shows. I think his is really going to surprise you. Enjoy!
About Trevor Hall:
Raised on an island in South Carolina, singer/songwriter Trevor Hall realized at a young age that music was more than just a passion - it was, rather, his life’s art. At sixteen, he recorded his first album, soon after which he left South Carolina for Idyllwild Arts Academy in California where he studied classical guitar and was introduced to the practices of yoga and meditation, which would greatly influence his life and his music.
Hall’s music, a blend of roots and folk music, is imbued with a deep love of Eastern Mysticism. This powerful symbiosis fostered a deep connectivity with his growing fan base and Trevor quickly matured into a leader of the burgeoning conscious musical community. Along with numerous pilgrimages to India, he has also completed a series of sold-out tours and collaborations with artists such as Steel Pulse, Ziggy Marley, Jimmy Cliff, Matisyahu, Michael Franti, Xavier Rudd and Nahko & Medicine for the People.
His previous full-length album releases, Chapter of the Forest (2014) and KALA (2015), debuted at #3 and #2 on the iTunes singer/songwriter chart respectively and were supported by extensive tours around the US and Australia. Beyond his intention to spread love and healing through music, Hall also collects donations to support children’s education in India and has continuously donated to charities and relief funds.
The Fruitful Darkness is Trevor’s first independent release — supported by his fans know as THE VILLAGERS — has become the #1 Music campaign of its kind in 2017 — after a decade plus recording for established labels such as Geffen and Vanguard. “There have been many hurdles and triumphs along the way” Hall reflects. “This album conveys the deep vulnerability of journeying through the unknown, as opposed to playing it safe.” Besides the change in infrastructure, the album itself explores completely new sonic terrain and is being released unconventionally, in three song installments on specific lunar dates. The first three tracks dropped worldwide this September 15th on iTunes.
Today we have Julie Santiago with us and she had two BIG TRUTHS to share with us.
The first she called universal, "We all know who we are and what we want."
The second she called personal, "I want my life to be super simple."
So we dove into both. Specifically:
-How she is simplifying
-The paradox of control - we have so much control and so much is out of our control
-The drive to be known, to know ourselves, and to be understood
-Being complete without kids
-Navigating personal growth while being in a long term relationship when your partner isn't necessarily on the same path you are
She also shared what it was like growing up in Louisiana in a Lebanese family. This is a really juicy one that took a lot of twists and turns. Enjoy!
About Julie Santiago:
Julie Santiago is a former Wall Street Trader turned writer, speaker, teacher and guide for women who are ready to break out of the box and start living their Truth.
She graduated from John Hopkins University with honors and is a Certified Holistic Health Coach, Transformational Life Coach, and Kundalini Yoga Teacher.
She has led thousands of amazing women through her virtual communities, live events and in-person transformational retreats. She incorporates a variety of modalities including yoga, meditation, coaching, holistic wellness, and spiritual philosophy to guide women on their path to awakening.
Today's Sermon is based around an experience I had earlier this week. If you’re on Instagram and you ever watch my stories, you know I go to the beach most mornings out of the week. It’s where and how I connect, and make time to attune myself to nature, who for me and I believe for all who are willing to pay close attention - is my greatest teacher.
She is a master at using what she has.
She doesn’t take more than she needs.
She’s extremely mysterious but always reveals exactly what you need to know in a way you can receive and understand it.
I get a lot out of time in nature, especially by the ocean. Especially lately in Point Dume, here in Malibu. So listen in to some reflections I had during and after climbing up the highest peak and walking out to the furthest cliff.
Today's guest, Lisa Romano, is an expert in helping people overcome faulty childhood programming that narcissistic abuse and codependency creates. We got all up in emotions, mindset, how you think about yourself if you've had either of these experiences, gaslighting, and other struggles this kind of dysfunction contributes to. Even if you haven't experienced either of these things, you may find this conversations useful as we also covered things that impact almost everyone at some point - attachment theory, developing a healthy sense of self, releasing unhealthy fears, how to communicate with narcissistic and codependent people in your life, and how other parenting dynamics impact children (especially before the age of seven!). This is one to listen to more than once and definitely share with loved ones who you know are working through these things as well. Thank you!
About Lisa Romano:
Lisa A. Romano is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in mentoring and coaching abused adult children from dysfunctional homes, who feel stuck in their lives and who are seeking to move beyond their painful pasts. Romano also coaches adults who find themselves feeling dissatisfied with their lives and who are finding it difficult to understand what beliefs or thought processes are preventing them from living a fulfilling life. She is also a bestselling author, popular Youtube Vlogger, radio show host, and speaker.
In this episode, Lisa shares:
1. Mapping the brain
2. How we "ice skate" over our pain and what happens when we do
3. Smart parenting to not pass these things onto your kids