Today we're kicking off a six week podcast series I've been dreaming up for a while. It's something I look forward to doing every year. It will be FILLED with gems to explore your inner world to help you have a better outer world experience. (And that is putting it very, very mildly.)
I’ll also be opening up a free pop-up Facebook group to get some quality time together as a Wild Soul community before 2019 starts and we get all “hyped up” about a new year. I hope you’ll join me and bring your friends!
In this first episode I'm offering up some statements of inspiration, questions for reflection as well as my own "year in review" of sorts. Journey into the Wild Soul is about reflecting on the year and perhaps years previous, so that we can leave the past in the past as we transition into a new year. As well as to invite you to consider if how you’ve been going about your growth, healing and transformation is really effective or if it’s more performative, obligatory, inefficient, ineffective, or just a distraction.
As always on Truth Telling, we're gonna keep it real and pack it in with tons of love, truth, kindness, laughs, stories and useful insights. Enjoy!
Ever feel like you just share a brain with some people? That is how I feel about today's guest, Kendra Cunov, who is back for her second time on the show. Her big truth was, "Just moving the body will literally change everything."
From there we talked about coming home to ourselves (which by the way caused me to have my biggest Freudian slip on the show ever, it was hilarious), the idea that "it" has to be somebody's fault, our responsibility for others' feelings, internal fundamental wholeness and what healthy love and intimacy actually look like.
She also dropped in two big concepts that were so fun to explore: 1) We don't heal by continually putting ourselves in situations that wound us and 2) How to use our own behavior as a barometer in assessing healthy relationships.
You'll probably want to listen to this one a few times to get all the nuggets. Enjoy and share!
About Kendra Cunov:
Founder of Fierce Grace: Practices of Embodied Wholeness for Women, Kendra Cunov has been studying, facilitating, and (most importantly) practicing Authentic Relating, Embodiment Practices & Deep Intimacy Work for the last fifteen years.
Kendra has worked with thousands of men, women & couples in the areas of embodiment, intimacy, communication & full self-expression.
She co-founded Authentic World, as well as The Embodied Relationship Training Salon, and pioneered some of the most cutting edge relation work on the planet.
Kendra has consulted for companies such as Genentech & is currently on staff for 4PC, an elite mastermind for the top 4% of coaches in the world.
She works with organizations & leaders, as well as men, women & couples, who know that presence, truth, connection & integrity are our truest access points to success – in business & in love.
We've got Dr Tee Williams on the show today. Dr Tee holds Masters and Doctoral degrees in Social Justice Education and I really appreciate his way of taking complex and challenging topics and presenting them in ways that are easy to understand and work with. I really enjoyed being able to learn and correct some of my own thinking, framing and verbiage in real time during this chat.
We covered a lot of ground including cognitive dissonance and how we fight against each others' oppression, the us vs. it mentality (instead of us vs. them), why he prefers liberation work over anti-anything, how we survive in environments that are constantly hurting us, the role of shame, blame and guilt in oppression, intersectionality and more.
This is good learning episode to share with friends and use for discussion.
About Dr. Tee Williams:
Dr. Tee Williams is a consultant, speaker and educator with over 20 years of experience helping people learn about the complexities of Diversity & Inclusion, Organizational Leadership and Personal Development. His mission is to help people and organizations transform themselves so that together we can transform the world. He believes in you. He believes in himself. He believes in us. Let's make the world a better, more loving and more welcoming place - for everyone.
Robert Kandell is back on the show and we are honing in big time on the topic of MEN. Not in like the Salt N Pepa, "Girls, what's my weakness?! MEN!" way, but rather, the "what's going on for men right now?" way. I appreciated this conversation a lot because while we focus mainly on the issues effecting women on this show, most of us have men in our lives that we really care about and have no desire to shut out, or shut down. Nor are we interested in dismissing men in general. It's just kind of hard to hold them in as much compassion sometimes, especially right now in 2018 as this episode is going live ... so Rob and I discussed why that is and how we can ALL do better together.
We got into the history of patriarchy, what exactly toxic masculinity is, male vulnerability, when and why people actually change, the different ways men and women feel validated, cultivating self esteem, three parts to great communication and more.
This is a great episode to share with the men in your life and use as a conversation starter for connection and understanding, enjoy and share!
About Robert Kandell:
Robert Kandell has been helping men find themselves for fourteen years. By creating a relationship of absolute approval with his clients he is able to see the parts, which are hidden in their shadows: fetishes, hurts and hidden desires. With a loving hand, he encourages men to accept these traits and utilize them as internal power. An expert in interpersonal communication and relationships, he has helped thousands of students find a more balanced, energized life with better relationships, more sex and more happiness. His coaching style is challenging, fraternal and highly rewarding and definitely not for the faint hearted, he has been described as “part football coach, part loving dad and part slightly crazed drill sergeant”. He is the host of the highly successes podcast, Tuff Love. To learn more about Robert and his revolutionary work, visit www.RobertKandell.com
I had so much fun talking to today's guest, Tanya Geisler, I did not want this interview to be over! Tanya's expertise is The Imposter Complex. Based on the Imposter Phenomenon, it looks at how most women are incapable of internalizing their own success, but totally able to internalize their failures.
We talked about how this messes with women's lives in so many ways --primarily isolating you, keeping you out of action and making you doubt your capacity. Tanya walked me through the behavioral traits that indicate when you're in the Imposter Complex, how and why this is conditioned into women, the double binds it creates (this was so eye opening), AND, how and why the Imposter Complex shows up (this part is the good news).
We also got into a chat about integrity, unshakable confidence, collective grief and desire. This is probably a listen more than once type of episode, enjoy, share and let me know what you think!
About Tanya Geisler:
Tanya Geisler is a Leadership Coach (CPCC) with a penchant for clarity and an abhorrence of the Impostor Complex. She’s worked with thousands of high-performers combat the Impostor Complex so they can step into the starring roles of their lives and achieve their ultimate goals. She has written The 12 Lies of the Impostor Complex (and One Truth), The Joy Pages, created Board of Your Life and the transformational Step into Your Starring Role coaching program, is a writer, has served as contributor and was featured in Canadian Living, and is an in-demand TEDx speaker who talks with great passion about the Impostor Complex, Unshakeable Confidence, personal leadership, on all things joy, meaning and purpose. Her clients include best-selling authors, public speakers, and rockstar world-changers.
It is her indomitable belief that if everyone knew their own unique recipe for their personal brand of joy, they’d hold the key to shining in their life, in their work and in their life’s work. (It really does change everything.)
Integrity is one of my top values so I really geeked out in this episode. The exploration spans my own personal experiences of and with integrity. Working definitions, references to wisdom from past podcast interviews and fielding listener questions on the topic. Enjoy and share!
Today's interview is a deep and soulful one with Shanda Catrice. Shanda is someone whose writing online is always packed with healing wisdom and her big truth was, "You don't get to know," meaning, in life, we don't get to see around the corner.
From there we spent a lot of time on love and relationships. We got into attachment theory, the idea of "dating sober" and some different dating intentions and archetypes that I'd never considered before.
We also talked about divorcing ourselves from our cultural stories, how empaths are both born and created, and building capacity for all of life's joys and challenges while honoring the circumstances in the world as well as who we truly are.
I enjoyed this one so much and hope you do too!
About Shanda Catrice:
Shanda Catrice is a fiercely compassionate healer and spiritual mentor who combines practical wisdom with sacred healing arts to guide women through inner transformation. Her work is centered around the integration of the whole self, through radical love and raw authenticity Shanda encourages women to embrace the love and light, as well as the shadowy parts of their soul. She has over 10 years of experience learning from various cultures and spiritual traditions from around the world and has facilitated workshops, healing circles, guided meditations, and sacred ceremonial retreats that help women align with the deepest parts of themselves and liberate the truth of who they really are.
If you're a long time listener you know I am a geek for healthy and conscious communication strategies and today's episodes is centered around just that.
Alexandra Jamieson is back on the show with her partner, Bob Gower sharing their "Getting To Hell Yes" conversation framework. Alex's big truth was that she can't do bullshit. Bob's was that it's better to have a boundary that's too strong.
From there we got into all things that go into having high stakes conversations: how to express emotions responsibly without derailing conversations, how anger and rage can be productive or destructive, and what the responsibility is of people with boundaries when interacting with folks who clearly don't have them. We also spent some time on power dynamics and Alex and Bob shared their four part conversation framework which includes intentions, concerns, boundaries and outcomes.
I loved this chat and will be re-listening a few times myself. I hope you get a lot out of it as well and share it up with those who could also use it!
About Alexandra Jamieson:
Alexandra Jamieson is a success mentor, life, and health coach to creative, professional women who want it all. She is the best-selling author of Women, Food & Desire, co-creator and co-star of the Oscar-nominated documentary Super Size Me, and highly-sought-after wellness expert. Find out more about Alex at alexandrajamieson.com.
About Bob Gower:
Bob Gower helps organizations move faster, create better products, and become happier, more engaging places to work. He is an authority on agile software development, lean theory, and responsive organizational design, and has advised leaders at numerous companies—including GE, Ford, Chanel, PG&E, and Spotify—in creating more effective organizations. He is the author of Agile Business: A Leader’s Guide to Harnessing Complexity and speaks regularly on organizational development and leadership. Find out more about Bob at bobgower.com.
I really enjoyed this chat with today's guest Melissa Toler. Melissa also used to work in the fitness industry and I'd been enjoying her posts on Instagram about challenging the way we think about bodies. That was actually her big truth, how our culture values and devalues bodies.
If you have any history with body image issues or disordered eating, please know before listening we explore a lot of topics in this interview that could be triggering.
We discussed all the things we need to unlearn and relearn, how hard it is to part with our conditioning, "body positivity", the moral imperative of health, the misconstrued relationship between body size and health and diet culture. We also opened up about why we both stopped selling "fitness" and "weight loss".
Enjoy the episode and share if it resonates!
About Melissa Toler:
Melissa Toler is a speaker, writer, and educator. Her work encourages people to make the connection between our culture's oppressive beauty standards and our personal struggle with self-acceptance. She has written extensively on diet culture and the toll it takes on our lives and humanity.
Melissa also has a background as a pharmacist and certified wellness coach. Her goal is to help people unlearn harmful messages and behaviors from years of chronic dieting through writing and truth-telling.
This was a fun episode to record. Last year the birthday episode revolved around lots of healing and lessons. This year was much more of a celebration of fully living, emerging from the other side of healing and reclaiming joy. It was also a lot of waking up, showing up, taking accountability and operating in an alignment that feels much truer, deeper and ME.
I called the episode Cultivating Joy in Difficult Times because it was really challenging and hard...so for anyone going through anything, I hope you can find even just ONE USEFUL NUGGET.
I saw this quote on Instagram over the weekend and it sums up exactly how I feel, "I know as a woman I'm supposed to be afraid of getting older but I love this shit so much. Every year I sink deeper into this bath of unapologetic realness and it's amazing." -Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler)
So enjoy the episode, share it up if your people could use it too and as always, thanks for listening!
Terri Cole is back on the podcast today and we are diving in on a topic this audience, loves --boundaries! We started with how to know when you need them and from there got into, "high functioning codependency", capacity versus willingness, overcorrections and misconceptions about what it means to be your best self.
We also talked about how critical mindfulness and present moment consciousness are to well drawn boundaries, cultivating the internal space to respond not react (a valuable distinction), boundary bullies and the relationship between boundaries and control.
As always Terri brings the good stuff. If you're someone who is practicing better boundaries, this is definitely one to listen to a few times and share with friends!
About Terri Cole:
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, a boundary and relationship expert, and the founder of Real Love Revolution and Boundary Bootcamp, her two female empowerment courses reaching women in over 25 countries.
For the past two decades, Terri has worked with some of the world’s most well-known personalities from international pop stars, professional athletes, Broadway performers and TV personalities to thought-leaders and Fortune 500 CEOs.
Terri’s strategies combine practical psychology, eastern mindfulness practices plus harnessing the power of intention to create sustainable positive behavioral change i.e. true transformation.
She empowers over one hundred thousand women weekly through her published articles and blog posts, YouTube channel, therapeutic meditations, online group courses, and her popular Hello Freedom podcast.
This is a 101-type episode which I love to do once in a while to create a go-to resource for people looking to get into things. Today's topic is the tarot and my guest is Brigit Esselmont, founder of Biddy Tarot.
Brigit's big truth was around discovering more about the role intuition and inner wisdom play in her life. From there we talked about how and why she got into tarot 20+ years ago and the basics of how she teaches people to use the tarot as an access point to living a more intuitive life.
She explained the difference between tarot and oracle cards, walked us through the Major Arcana and even gave me a mini reading around my pursuit of stand up comedy to demonstrate how the cards work.
This is a really fun and informative conversation, enjoy!
About Brigit Esselmont:
Brigit Esselmont is the author of the #1 Amazon best-selling books the Ultimate Guide to Tarot Card Meanings and the Biddy Tarot Planner, and the brand new book and Tarot deck, Everyday Tarot. A professional Tarot reader for more than 20 years, Brigit founded Biddy Tarot (www.biddytarot.com) in 1999, where each year more than 4.5 million people are inspired to live more mindful and enlightened lives, using the Tarot as a guide.
A self-confessed Tarot lover, Brigit can’t help but spread the love to other Tarot enthusiasts. She teaches aspiring Tarot readers how to read Tarot with confidence and spiritual professionals how build their own business empires that are aligned with their soul’s purpose.
Brigit believes anyone can read Tarot. She doesn’t own a crystal ball nor a crushed velvet dress. She’s simply a down-to-earth, practical Taurus who likes to use the Tarot cards in everyday life.
When she’s not reading Tarot, Brigit loves spending time with her two daughters and husband on the Sunshine Coast, Australia.
Today’s guest is Michaela Boehm who was on the podcast almost three years ago and A LOT has happened since the last time we spoke. She just published a book - The Wild Woman's Way and she lost her entire home and property in a huge fire last year.
My favorite thing about this conversation was the major emphasis on the application that's possible when someone is devoted to deep practice and cultivating the skills to be an integrated, resilient person, even if they're sensitive.
We talked about that and how she was able to move through the grief, shock, and trauma of losing her home and property. We also talked about the difference between cultivation and devotion which I really appreciated because this is something that people often overlook in the self-help, spirituality and personal development worlds.
People want tools and practices but not everyone is willing to show up with the discipline required. To many the word "discipline" brings up a lot of resistance and in this chat we explored why it doesn't have to.
Enjoy and share!
About Michaela Boehm:
Michaela Boehm teaches and counsels internationally as an expert in intimacy and sexuality. Born and raised in Austria, Michaela combines degrees in psychology and extensive clinical counseling experience with her in-depth training in the yogic arts as a classical Kashmiri Tantric lineage holder. Michaela's approach empowers her students through an eclectic mix of education, experiential exercises and guided explorations. Known for her work with high-performing individuals, her ongoing private clients include Oscar-winning actors, producers, business pioneers, and multiple Grammy-winning musicians. Michaela lives on an organic farm in California where she rescues and rehabilitates animals. For more information, please visit her website at MichaelaBoehm.com.
Today's guest is someone I've been wanting to have on the show for a while, Desiree Adaway. Desiree is a seasoned nonprofit consultant and facilitator who is known by staff, senior leadership, peers, and partners as being great at open, honest, and productive conversations, which is exactly what we had in this episode.
Her big truth was that, "Black and brown bodies are expendable." From there we got into a few really important distinctions: unity vs solidarity, discussion vs debate, diversity vs equity, inclusion and social justice.
We also talked about allyship, accountability within community, whiteness, racism, finding ways to communicate that work for everyone, and the importance of listening.
This is a good episode to listen to more than once and share with your friends, family and colleagues as a tool for unpacking and raising your awareness. Enjoy!
About Desiree Adaway:
Desiree is a seasoned nonprofit consultant and facilitator. All of her presentations have a mix of thought provoking content presented with humor and wit. When she teaches she makes a point to connect with every person, and create a safe space for their growth. She is known by staff, senior leadership, peers, and partners as being great at open, honest, and productive conversations. She is not afraid of addressing anything that gets in the way of great work. Her style is positive, approachable, engaging, service-oriented and audience-centered.
Today's guest, Esther Goldenberg is passionate about Jewish life, Israel, and living your religion in the way that's meaningful to you. Her mission is to make Judaism accessible and interesting, regardless of how you choose to use that information in your life. While I'm neither Jewish nor into practicing religion personally, I still very much appreciate gleaning the universal wisdom available from stories, traditions, customs and rituals (in a non-appropriating way, of course!)--and Esther provided a ton of that throughout this conversation.
Her big truth was two fold and a bit paradoxical, "This ain't about you and this is all about me..."
From there we also discussed weaponizing the Bible versus finding the gems that can help people live everyday life regardless of any specific faith.
Enjoy and share!
This interview with Rebekah Borucki is on the raw and messy side by design. Bex is one of my learning and processing buddies around topics related to dismantling systems of oppression in every areas of our lives.
Her big truth was that we have so far to go in our evolution to even be decent. From there we talked about all the things we’re learning, implementing and integrating as we strive to be more decent human beings.
This is not a teaching episode as we're both deeply in student mode on these topics (and will be for life).
We talked about whiteness, privilege, cultural appropriation, fetishization, racism, ableism, self care, how hard it is to interact with people we’ve been close with who aren’t doing their work to learn, unpack, speak up and be allies. We also got into how complex things are and how we’re navigating and handling that, while learning, staying open and flexible throughout all of it.
I love this woman. This is definitely one to share with loved ones and use as a conversation tool to take a look at these topics in your own spaces.
About Rebekah Borucki:
Rebekah “Bex” Borucki, founder of BEXLIFE® and the BLISSED IN® wellness movement, is a mother-of-five, TV host, yoga and meditation guide, author, speaker, birth doula, and life transformation and resilience coach. She also travels extensively, sharing her love for yoga, wellness, and meditation at exclusive workshops, luxury retreats, and public events. Her first book, You Have 4 Minutes to Change Your Life: Simple 4-Minute Meditations for Inspiration, Transformation and True Bliss, was released by Hay House in February 2017. For more information, visit www.BexLife.com/book.
I'm reviving the Ask Elizabeth segment and today's theme is relationships. I asked our community via social media to submit questions and they did not disappoint!
Enjoy and keep an eye out on social for next months question request. The topic will be Cultivating Joy.
Today's guest, Bari Tessler is a financial therapist. We've been acquainted for many years and more recently had the opportunity to drop in more deeply at a women's leadership event. Bari is a financial therapist and the creator and author of The Art of Money.
It's no secret that I LOVE soaking up wisdom from women who are further along on their life path than I am and this is one of the reasons I was pumped to have her on the show! Bari's big truth was about getting her ass kicked by perimenopause.
From there we discussed how she's working to leave a legacy both in her business and through parenting her son. She also shared her story, the training and experience that led her to create her integrative approach to money (which includes the antidote to money shame!), and the relationship between urgency, responsibility and thoroughness.
This was one of those interviews I wished could have gone for a whole extra hour, we'll definitely have to have Bari back. Enjoy and share!
About Bari Tessler:
Bari Tessler Linden, M.A., is a Financial Therapist, Mentor Coach, Mama-preneur, and the Founder of The Art of Money. She has guided thousands of people to new, empowered, and refreshingly honest relationships with money through her nurturing, body-centered approach. Her methodology weaves together personal, couple, and creative entrepreneurial money teachings into one complete tapestry. She is the founder of The Art of Money: a global, year-long money school, which integrates Money Healing, Money Practices and Money Maps. Her work has been featured on Oprah.com, Inc.com, the Huffington Post, US News & World Report, Reuters Money, The Fiscal Times, USA Today, The Cut, Girlboss, Nerd Wallet, The Simple Dollar, REDBOOK Magazine and Experience Life Magazine. Bari is also the author of The Art of Money: A Life-Changing Guide to Financial Happiness, published by Parallax Press. Learn more about Bari at: http://baritessler.com/
Something I've been noticing on the podcast lately is I'm talking less with guests about what they do and more about how they're doing and what they're up to in life overall. Today's conversation felt like one of those.
My guest, Kathryn Budig is an internationally celebrated yoga teacher and author known for her accessibility, humor, and ability to empower her students through her message, "aim true."
Her big truth was about finding happiness within the pursuit of success. From there we discussed a variety of ways the pursuit of success makes us unhappy. From pursuing things because we think we "should" to the ways we use social media, seek validation and other forms of self-compromise.
We talked about sustaining ourselves vs pushing or hustling and we also explored feeling comfortable in our skin as our bodies change and we go through difference phases, her experience of coming out in a relationship with a woman after her divorce from her husband.
To say this one is packed and juicy is an understatement. Enjoy!
About Kathryn Budig:
Kathryn Budig is an internationally celebrated yoga teacher and author known for her accessibility, humor, and ability to empower her students through her message, “aim true.” The Kansas native graduated from the University of Virginia with a double degree in English and Drama before moving to Los Angeles, where she trained at Yogaworks under the tutelage of her mentors, Maty Ezraty and Chuck Miller.
With over a decade of experience in her field, Budig served as the yoga editor to Women’s Health magazine for five years, contributed recipes and sat on the Yahoo Health Advisory Board, and regularly contributes to Yoga Journal, The New Potato, and MindBodyGreen. She was an athlete in Under Armour’s “I WILL WHAT I WANT” campaign, the co-host of the Free Cookies podcast, teaches regular online classes on Yogaglo.com, and is the founder of her animal project, Poses for Paws. She is the creator of the Aim True Yoga DVD produced by Gaiam, author of The Women's Health Big Book of Yoga and Aim True.
What You'll Hear:
6:43 Navigating social media as a content creator
16:32 Stability, roots, and cycling through change over time
29:01 Handling how our bodies change over time
You'll hear it all throughout today's interview, but this is a really special one. Never before have I had a guest on the show who I've had the immense pleasure and honor of being part of their journey and mission. Jennifer Arthurton is the founder of Old Chicks Know Sh*t, a company she founded because in her own words:
"As I searched for inspiration for this next chapter, I began to realize that you have to dig pretty deep to find examples of middle age women living kick ass lives that didn’t involve sitting around waiting for kids to visit, grandchildren and retirement. And although those are lovely, I want the second half of my life to be about me. I’ve given my all to my career and family and all the other “have to’s” in life and now its time to do what makes me happy."
Her big truth was around surrender and trust, so we explored how those things helped her leave a 20 year corporate career to not only pursue what she's doing now but also unpack the lifetime of programming and conditioning that women receive in our culture.
She also shared her experience of being raised and living in three different countries, how that shaped her and the lens she experiences life through.
I could go on all day about how much I love and respect this woman, but I'll stop here and just let you listen to the episode. Enjoy and share!
About Jennifer Arthurton:
Jennifer Arthurton leads of a community of women called Old Chicks Know Sh*t where she offers inspiration and support to women navigating the often-confusing chapter of mid-life. Having made her own midlife course corrections, Jennifer is a passionate advocate of the inherent power and knowledge that women possess at a time when they often feel overlooked and doubt themselves most. As a marketing strategist she also works with brands to connect them to this influential and lucrative midlife segment. Jennifer regularly appears as a guest on blogs and podcasts targeted to the mid-life segment and is available as a motivational speaker for marketing conferences, women’s conferences and events.
JLove Calderon is a social entrepreneur, activist, author, coach, creator, producer and director of TV and Film. Storytelling and justice are at the heart of her work and this conversation is so moving, I highly recommend listening when you can be fully present and take some notes. I loved this woman's heart so much and her gentle and clear way of talking through hard topics.
She explained the historical movement of colorblindness and shared her personal journey as an activist for 20+ years, some hard truths she's had to face along the way and the many valuable lessons she learned from her time in gangs and the hip hop industry.
Her big truth was that most of her life decisions were based on unhealed trauma and limiting beliefs.
From there we discussed how to:
-Navigate racism, spiritual bypass and privilege
-Educate without shaming, and
-Unpack your privilege without dulling your light
Enjoy and share this one far and wide! Thank you.
About JLove Calderón:
JLove is a social entrepreneur, activist, author, coach and a creator, producer and director of TV and Film. Storytelling and justice is at the heart of her work.
Her short films, ASIA-ONE: Expect The Unexpected, and From Gangs to Gardens, have garnered an audience of over 18 million viewers. She co-produced 11:55, a feature film by Ben Snyder and Ari Issler. JLove has co-created, executive produced and directed five TV pilots including The Message featuring Joey Bada$$, The Sound of Revolution, Breaking Bias with Grammy Award winning J.Ivy, and received distribution for her TV Series We The People with REVOLT and The Sound of Revolution received distribution from Seed & Spark. She produced and directed two music videos, The Universal Blueprint by 7TRiiiBES and Keeps Me Up by Beat Boxing champion of the world, Kaila Mullady.
JLove is the author of That White Girl (Atria Books/Simon & Schuster, 2007), which has been optioned for film. She has also co-edited four books: We Got Issues! A Young Woman’s Guide to a Bold, Courageous and Empowered Life with Rha Goddess (New World Library, 2006); Conscious Women Rock the Page! Using Hip-Hop Fiction to Incite Social Change, with Marcella Runell Hall, E-Fierce, and Black Artemis (Sister Outsider Publishing, 2008); a contributor in Who’s Your Mama, The Unsung Voices of Women and Mothers, edited by Yvonne Bynoe (Soft Skull, 2009) Love, Race, and Liberation: ‘Til the White Day is Done with Marcella Runell Hall (Love-N-Liberation Press, 2010); and Occupying Privilege (Love-N-Liberation Press, 2012), winner in the social change category of the National Indie Excellence Awards; and a contributor in UnCommon Bonds: Women Reflect on Race and Friendship edited by Kersha Smith & Marcella Runell Hall (Peter Lang, 2018).
JLove is a strong voice in the fight for racial justice, and is a member of the SURJ (Showing Up for Racial Justice) National Leadership Team, SURJ Connectors Co-Founder and Creative Director, as well as COO of the Black Girl Animators Collective. jloveglobal.com @jlovecalderon
Today's guest, Karen Hawkwood is one of those people I've never met in real life but somehow have a deep kinship with. I LOVE the way this woman's mind and heart come together to articulate the nuance and complexity of life's realest issues.
Her big truth was that most people are cowards, meaning--most people are not in integrity. From there we discussed:
-How to actually "do integrity" - what we give, and how to turn our insights on ourselves
-Establishing a relationship to "that which is beyond"
-Her definition of forgiveness, which includes an important distinction between responsibility and accountability.
-The difference between shame and accountability
-How anger and hurt protect us from each other
-A full spectrum view of death and rebirth processes that includes the dying and being dead part
-Grief and identity, and more.
This one is definitely a listen more than once, take notes, invite your friends, and take your time to process it kind of conversation. Enjoy!
About Karen Hawkwood:
Karen Hawkwood (also known as KJ Sassypants, or on occasion Saint Sassypants) lives at the intersection of Down Street and Starry Spiral Way. She sees more about you than you really want her to, and then uses that to pave your path into the darkness, and through it to where you become All Of You At Once. She'll see all the way to your bones and then light them on fire so they illuminate you like a lamp. She promises nothing, offers an odd assortment of things you didn't know you wanted, and occasionally drops a jewel or a small bird. Her methods involve measurable things like coaching, astrology, intellect, and vulgar language, and much more erratic and dubious things like hearing spider feet, consorting with mythical creatures, sending flowers down in the well bucket and drawing up strange songs, and laughing at her own jokes.
Today's episode goes deep into unhealthy relationship patterns, abuse and victimhood. What I loved about our guest Avery Neal, is her whip smart, compassionate and gentle demeanor while navigating an intense topic.
Her truth was about the resilience of the human spirit. From there we explored:
-Big hard words - abuse and victim - and why it's important to use them, unpack them and own them when applicable
-Striking a balance between sussing out your partner's issues and your own issues
-Behavioral patterns of abusers and how to spot the warning signs
-Behavioral patterns of "victims" or those susceptible to abusive partnerships
-Lots of examples from her practice and more gems from her book.
I know every time I do an episode like this, unfortunately it resonates with A LOT of people. Be gentle with yourself if it hits the mark for you and as always, do not hesitate to contact us or reach out if you need help. Since I spoke out about my own abusive relationship last year, I've received so many messages from others sharing their stories. This topic is a really close one to my heart.
About Avery Neal:
Avery Neal, MA, LPC is a practicing psychotherapist, author, speaker and consultant. In 2012 she opened Women’s Therapy Clinic, which has locations in both The Woodlands, Texas and in Denver, Colorado. She specializes in depression and anxiety at all stages in a woman’s life. She has worked extensively with women suffering from prenatal anxiety and postpartum depression in addition to helping women recovering from divorce and healing from emotional abuse. She is passionate about empowering women discover their own inner strength, leading to higher self-esteem, confidence and overall life satisfaction.
Avery is the author of If He’s So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad?: Recognizing and Overcoming Subtle Abuse. Her articles and interviews have been published by Oprah.com, Best Self Magazine, Hitched Magazine, Bustle, POPSUGAR and PKWY Magazine. In 2017, the International Association of HealthCare Professionals nominated her as one of the top psychologists in Houston.
I got to chat with today's guest, Amber Rae right on the heels of her new book coming out. We explored a ton of things related to life and creativity. Her big truth was around the truths she doesn't want to look at. She asked the question, "Do you tell your journal the truth?" Which sparked a playful and deep conversation around our willingness to look at our shadows, anxieties and worries.
From there we talked about:
-How wonder is curiosity in action
-Being slightly more curious than afraid
-How wonder helps with negative emotions
-The difference between fear and intuition
-Developing characters to relate to yourself objectively
-Identifying our "creative aches" and more...
Whether you live a creative life or not, there are so many gems in this discussion about navigating the things that keep us from our fullest love, expression and joy everyday. Enjoy and share!
About Amber Rae:
Called a “Millennial Motivator” by Fortune and "The Brené Brown of Wonder” by Mind Body Green, Amber Rae is an author, artist, and speaker whose work invites you to live your truth, befriend your emotions, and express your gifts.
Her writing blends raw, personal storytelling with actionable aha! moments and has reached more than 5 million people in 195 countries. Her public art has spread to more than 20 countries, and she's spoken to and collaborated with brands like Kate Spade, Apple, Amazon, and Unilever.
Amber has been featured in The New York Times, TIME, Fast Company, BBC, ABC World News, Tim Ferriss's blog, and more.
Previously, Amber helped launch six best-selling books as Chief Evangelist of Seth Godin's publishing experiment and started an "accelerator for your life" called The Bold Academy.
She lives in Brooklyn and around the world with her fiancé, Farhad.
Today’s guest, Clarissa Silva developed a technique, Your Happiness Hypothesis (c), based on her research and practice that provides evidence-based solutions to address some of the suboptimal relationship challenges that are occurring in today’s tech-driven dating world.
Her truth was that relationships have become much more complicated these days. Here’s what we covered:
-The dating paradox, how there is so much choice with online dating, swiping, stoping on shining objects and more.
-She walked me through some of the modern dating terms of which I was unaware.
-How technology intersects with self-esteem and relationship satisfaction (this was fascinating!) and how people create double consciousness!
-We got into vanity validation, device dependency and what people want vs what people need.
-Why she doesn’t believe in self-love and why she believes we should create our own equations and algorithms that deconstruct “the ideal partner list.”
If you’re someone who’s out in the world dating, this will be really useful for you and if you are just curious what it’s like out there – you’ll learn a ton in this episode. Enjoy!
About Clarissa Silva:
Clarissa Silva is a Behavioral Scientist, Researcher, and Relationship Coach with 17 years of experience in mental health, behavioral science, and public health. She is the founder of C Silva Solutions, LLC, a research and consulting firm that provides evidence-based solutions to companies and individuals.
Clarissa developed a technique, Your Happiness Hypothesis (c), based on her research and practice that provides evidence-based solutions to address some of the suboptimal relationship challenges that are occurring in today’s tech-driven dating world.
She is the author of a very tongue-in-cheek relationship wellness blog, “YOU’RE JUST A DUMBASS”, to help people select and maintain healthy relationships and avoid some of the difficult life lessons that one encounters in suboptimal relationships. Her work focuses on research and data-driven techniques that she developed to help clients with creating relationship wellness in their lives.
Clarissa holds an MSW from the University of Michigan and a BA from Hunter College. She has been featured in the US on: FOX, NBC, HuffPostLive, ABC, CBS, PR Newswire, Google, Vice. Broadly, Stylecaster, Bustle, Elite Daily, Business Insider, Glamour, NY Post, Yahoo!, Moneyish (among the many) and Internationally on: Yahoo Japan, Tabi Labo Japan, Cosmopolitan Italy, Cosmopolitan Netherlands, Vice Germany, Vice Spain, Vice Columbia, MSN Spain, Cosmopolitan UK and ???? ????? (Macedonia).