Today's guest, Karen Hawkwood is one of those people I've never met in real life but somehow have a deep kinship with. I LOVE the way this woman's mind and heart come together to articulate the nuance and complexity of life's realest issues.
Her big truth was that most people are cowards, meaning--most people are not in integrity. From there we discussed:
-How to actually "do integrity" - what we give, and how to turn our insights on ourselves
-Establishing a relationship to "that which is beyond"
-Her definition of forgiveness, which includes an important distinction between responsibility and accountability.
-The difference between shame and accountability
-How anger and hurt protect us from each other
-A full spectrum view of death and rebirth processes that includes the dying and being dead part
-Grief and identity, and more.
This one is definitely a listen more than once, take notes, invite your friends, and take your time to process it kind of conversation. Enjoy!
About Karen Hawkwood:
Karen Hawkwood (also known as KJ Sassypants, or on occasion Saint Sassypants) lives at the intersection of Down Street and Starry Spiral Way. She sees more about you than you really want her to, and then uses that to pave your path into the darkness, and through it to where you become All Of You At Once. She'll see all the way to your bones and then light them on fire so they illuminate you like a lamp. She promises nothing, offers an odd assortment of things you didn't know you wanted, and occasionally drops a jewel or a small bird. Her methods involve measurable things like coaching, astrology, intellect, and vulgar language, and much more erratic and dubious things like hearing spider feet, consorting with mythical creatures, sending flowers down in the well bucket and drawing up strange songs, and laughing at her own jokes.
Today's episode goes deep into unhealthy relationship patterns, abuse and victimhood. What I loved about our guest Avery Neal, is her whip smart, compassionate and gentle demeanor while navigating an intense topic.
Her truth was about the resilience of the human spirit. From there we explored:
-Big hard words - abuse and victim - and why it's important to use them, unpack them and own them when applicable
-Striking a balance between sussing out your partner's issues and your own issues
-Behavioral patterns of abusers and how to spot the warning signs
-Behavioral patterns of "victims" or those susceptible to abusive partnerships
-Lots of examples from her practice and more gems from her book.
I know every time I do an episode like this, unfortunately it resonates with A LOT of people. Be gentle with yourself if it hits the mark for you and as always, do not hesitate to contact us or reach out if you need help. Since I spoke out about my own abusive relationship last year, I've received so many messages from others sharing their stories. This topic is a really close one to my heart.
About Avery Neal:
Avery Neal, MA, LPC is a practicing psychotherapist, author, speaker and consultant. In 2012 she opened Women’s Therapy Clinic, which has locations in both The Woodlands, Texas and in Denver, Colorado. She specializes in depression and anxiety at all stages in a woman’s life. She has worked extensively with women suffering from prenatal anxiety and postpartum depression in addition to helping women recovering from divorce and healing from emotional abuse. She is passionate about empowering women discover their own inner strength, leading to higher self-esteem, confidence and overall life satisfaction.
Avery is the author of If He’s So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad?: Recognizing and Overcoming Subtle Abuse. Her articles and interviews have been published by Oprah.com, Best Self Magazine, Hitched Magazine, Bustle, POPSUGAR and PKWY Magazine. In 2017, the International Association of HealthCare Professionals nominated her as one of the top psychologists in Houston.
I got to chat with today's guest, Amber Rae right on the heels of her new book coming out. We explored a ton of things related to life and creativity. Her big truth was around the truths she doesn't want to look at. She asked the question, "Do you tell your journal the truth?" Which sparked a playful and deep conversation around our willingness to look at our shadows, anxieties and worries.
From there we talked about:
-How wonder is curiosity in action
-Being slightly more curious than afraid
-How wonder helps with negative emotions
-The difference between fear and intuition
-Developing characters to relate to yourself objectively
-Identifying our "creative aches" and more...
Whether you live a creative life or not, there are so many gems in this discussion about navigating the things that keep us from our fullest love, expression and joy everyday. Enjoy and share!
About Amber Rae:
Called a “Millennial Motivator” by Fortune and "The Brené Brown of Wonder” by Mind Body Green, Amber Rae is an author, artist, and speaker whose work invites you to live your truth, befriend your emotions, and express your gifts.
Her writing blends raw, personal storytelling with actionable aha! moments and has reached more than 5 million people in 195 countries. Her public art has spread to more than 20 countries, and she's spoken to and collaborated with brands like Kate Spade, Apple, Amazon, and Unilever.
Amber has been featured in The New York Times, TIME, Fast Company, BBC, ABC World News, Tim Ferriss's blog, and more.
Previously, Amber helped launch six best-selling books as Chief Evangelist of Seth Godin's publishing experiment and started an "accelerator for your life" called The Bold Academy.
She lives in Brooklyn and around the world with her fiancé, Farhad.
Today’s guest, Clarissa Silva developed a technique, Your Happiness Hypothesis (c), based on her research and practice that provides evidence-based solutions to address some of the suboptimal relationship challenges that are occurring in today’s tech-driven dating world.
Her truth was that relationships have become much more complicated these days. Here’s what we covered:
-The dating paradox, how there is so much choice with online dating, swiping, stoping on shining objects and more.
-She walked me through some of the modern dating terms of which I was unaware.
-How technology intersects with self-esteem and relationship satisfaction (this was fascinating!) and how people create double consciousness!
-We got into vanity validation, device dependency and what people want vs what people need.
-Why she doesn’t believe in self-love and why she believes we should create our own equations and algorithms that deconstruct “the ideal partner list.”
If you’re someone who’s out in the world dating, this will be really useful for you and if you are just curious what it’s like out there – you’ll learn a ton in this episode. Enjoy!
About Clarissa Silva:
Clarissa Silva is a Behavioral Scientist, Researcher, and Relationship Coach with 17 years of experience in mental health, behavioral science, and public health. She is the founder of C Silva Solutions, LLC, a research and consulting firm that provides evidence-based solutions to companies and individuals.
Clarissa developed a technique, Your Happiness Hypothesis (c), based on her research and practice that provides evidence-based solutions to address some of the suboptimal relationship challenges that are occurring in today’s tech-driven dating world.
She is the author of a very tongue-in-cheek relationship wellness blog, “YOU’RE JUST A DUMBASS”, to help people select and maintain healthy relationships and avoid some of the difficult life lessons that one encounters in suboptimal relationships. Her work focuses on research and data-driven techniques that she developed to help clients with creating relationship wellness in their lives.
Clarissa holds an MSW from the University of Michigan and a BA from Hunter College. She has been featured in the US on: FOX, NBC, HuffPostLive, ABC, CBS, PR Newswire, Google, Vice. Broadly, Stylecaster, Bustle, Elite Daily, Business Insider, Glamour, NY Post, Yahoo!, Moneyish (among the many) and Internationally on: Yahoo Japan, Tabi Labo Japan, Cosmopolitan Italy, Cosmopolitan Netherlands, Vice Germany, Vice Spain, Vice Columbia, MSN Spain, Cosmopolitan UK and ???? ????? (Macedonia).